About Me

I believe there is a cosmic being that directs all natural aspects of our world. This being is known by many names by many types of people. I choose to refer to it as God. There is a Spirit that emanates from and is a part of my God. It encompasses us individually creating a direct connection to the deity. And, over the ages there have been many teachers who have been perceived as "chosen ones" to individually educate, challenge, and guide us. My acquaintance and allegiance is with Jesus Christ and I try to follow his example as I work my way through the tenure of life. I have faith that good works carry the promise of benefits both now and beyond. I have hope that righteousness will persevere, and I feel love beyond what I many times demonstrate.

But, I am human. I give what I can and have desires that at times seem out of control. I am sensitive and try not to internalize criticism and rejection. I thrill at works of art and beautiful music, both historical and contemporary. I marvel at technology and what it can do to ease and entertain. Finally, I am a mental whore...always starved for physical satisfaction and getting little. I become ecstatic over the sight and feel of the male body along with representations of it through sculpture and photography. I so desire to love and be loved. Further, I am not ashamed of loving other men. I am comfortable in my own skin. Age is a state of mind and my "Fountain of Youth" is association with younger men...mentally and physically.

Mortality Surfacing

Shortly before Thanksgiving, 2010, my mortality reached up and slapped me in the face. It's amazing, even at my advanced age feeling good and taking the prescribed precautions, how complacent I've been regarding the facts of life...yes, all of them. "Sure, you're aging" you tell yourself, "but I'm active, in apparent good health, enjoying life and the people who surround me. There's no reason why I won't keep going for another 20-25 years...loving it!" Then WHAP!, I'm lying in a hospital bed marveling at the medical technology that has brought me through... not forgetting the prayers and best wishes of family and friends that helped me through the experience.

Within a span of 24 hours my optimism relating to longevity wavered. I was reminded that life here on earth, indeed, is not eternal. I was given pause to stop and evaluate the purpose for being given a further chance to continue on. There is really no way to discover the hidden reason in that longevity is primarily beyond our control. Individually, we can find or learn ways that may extend our tenure here, and such luck or education play an important part. Prayer is another extenuating factor...whether offered by ourselves or by those who surround us in life. But still, for what purpose am I still here? I was shown an immense outpouring of love and concern as a result of this incident and have expressed my determination to "pay it forward". I have also self vowed that I will continually pray for the strength and will power to live my life in such a manner that those who observe will recognize the basis for my faith and trust who is the triumvirate God.

Spirit of the Living God

Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me.
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.
-Daniel Iverson

This is a prayer hymn that I often sing. For me it is a reminder that constant renewal is a requirement during these days of turmoil. In order to be remade, I ask that the crust that has formed around my existence be broken and melted into a pliable mass.  This allows a new vessel to be formed...sculpted to reflect a new use.  I further ask that the new vessel be subsequently filled with faith, hope, and love. Finally I ask that my future life actions will make full use of that which the vessel is filled.

The Team

The setting is an ancient New England inn with history oozing from time gilded local oak timbers, interior decorated with rememberances of the past. A jovial bartender bustling preparations toward anticipated busier evening hours accompanied by occasional clinks of bottles and glassware. Tables being effiently set by competant waitsaff quietlybantering with the chef and barkeep. Owner/manager quick-stepping, double checking, firing off questions and instructions. Soft period lighting and the hearth ablaze with atmosphere adding warmth to the late autumn afternoon chill. At a semi-secluded corner table a party of four enjoy libation and muted coversation...a team of three for the other. One an organized philosophical study(the visiting friend), another an efficient working professional and housewife (the daughter), the third a champion for people with special needs (the sister).


A few weeks earlier, the other had disappointingly experienced an unusual lung-rasping shortness of breath during a routine beach walk. Subsequent trial walks produced similar results which he discussed with his cardiologist. A failed stress-test was followed by a cardio-catheterization that precpitated immediate open heart surgery complete with triple-bypass corrections. The team of three was called to action; not an orchestrated rehearsed selection of events but rather a collecton of individual cooperative acts that melded fragmenation into wholeness on behalf of the striken other. Personal plans were cast aside and expenditures of previously planned time were abandoned as the three rallied in mutual support. Now, with successful healing being nurtred, the other was seeking some demonstration of gratitude to the three in commensurate magnitude. Therefore, finding none of worthy stature or possibility he tries to convey his emotions - tackling the enormity of wrapping his need with phrases that can hardly be understood by those who have not personally experienced similar circumstances.

How does one attempt to compensate another for the magnitude of the gift given? What possible expression of gratitude can even begin to convey that which is so intesely personal? Is it even possible? Is it necessary? Does simple acceptance of that given convey enough to satisfy the spirit...the love represented? Or is a commitment to "pay it forward", to accept the torch that is passed in order to lighten the load of another in need, sufficient? Within the surrounding circumstances, the other seems to be left with no option than the latter and has accepted all that has been given with thanksgiving and resolve.

Life Changes

As days grow shorter and the temperature struggles to maintain warmth the beach loses its attraction to many. Therefore, the dive in occupancy has driven the owners of the motel to the decision to once again close until spring. Not wishing to go through another off-season on unemployment I checked Craigslist on-line job postings where I found an opportunity posted by the Beachmere Inn, in Ogunquit, for a year-'round "Front Desk Clerk/Night Auditor" position. With some trepidation I indicated my interest in the position, enclosing my resume. During a subsequent phone call from the Beachmere's Operation Manager an interview was scheduled, my references were checked, I was offered the position, and I accepted.

Training commenced immediately and that resulted in my working the early shift at the Cutty Sark, 8 AM - 2:30 PM, dashing home to change shirts and ingest dinner before my 4-10 PM (or later) shift at the Beachmere. After nearly 14 years at the Cutty Sark, being totally familiar with people, facilities and procedure, the transition to bottom rung of the ladder is indeed interesting and challenging but not unfamiliar. My decision to relocate to Maine from southern California, 15 years ago, required a similar transition from experienced corporate management to entry-level production work. I weathered that and I will make it through this change. Personal change is challenging, it revives interest in life and motivates one to keep moving on.

Gay Teens Suicide

The tragic deaths of gay young people taken at their own hands is terribly disturbing. The most recently publicized six who chose this way of escaping the hate and bullying of the homophobic public, families, and peers are only the most recent incidents of this nature that have been occurring for years, if not decades.


I have begun to wonder if there are local gay teens who are facing the daunting task of living lives true to themselves, and what resources might be available for them in our immediate area. Questioning a local gay advocate I am assured that there are many young people in that situation, but there is little evidence that significant steps are being taken within the school districts to address the issue. Organizations such as PFLAG, or GLSEN, offer help, but they are not located within our immediate area even though there are opportunities for assistance by phone. How much more beneficial it would be for kids to be able to relate face-to-face with concerned supporters and mentors is a question that is not easily answered. Would they, if they could?


The primary basis for alleviating homophobia - the root of this issue - would seem to be education. A successful proactive approach would destroy the misconceptions and fear that give birth to the destructive attitudes and acts of much of the general public. How to do this is a monumental question that unfortunately has no quick answer. But, our kids need immediate avenues to safety and assurance. So, it begins with a grass-roots effort by individuals and organizations to develop the means of help.


Where do we begin? Town/city boards, school districts, churches, fraternal organizations, and other duly organized local groups would seem to be logical starting points. Eventually, coalitions should be assembled that would be a repository for effort, direction, and results...simply to reduce duplication of effort. Perhaps each coalition encompassing an area of responsibility equal to each individual school district statewide.


How do we educate? We can provide information by whatever available means...newspapers, radio/TV, brochures, etc. We can hold forums and assemblies, and become an informing presence at local events. We can live openly, becoming positively involved within our communities and state with pride in who we are and for what we can give, showing others that our sexual orientation does not need to be the focal point of our existance.


Can I make a difference? Yes, I can. By becoming involved, by broadening my horizons beyond my own limited/limiting circle. By communicating with my friends and aquaintences, enlisting their support and involvement.


How soon? NOW!

I would welcome your comments and/or opinions.

Autumn Commences

Following this season's summer farewell when temperatures rose to 80-degrees in a final salute to the previous 12 weeks of sunshine and warm weather the continuation of temperate conditions hardly demarks the change of seasons. However, the first of the maples are starting to sport rosey foliage as we welcome autumn despite the lack of rain and cold nights.



I recently took the opportunity to attend a viewing of the movie, "Just Say Love". It is closely based on the play of the same name written by David Mauriello who lives in Ogunquit. He produced the film and was involved with the screenplay adaptation. The story centers on the relationship of two men, one who is a gay philosophic artist, the other a carpenter who identifies with the "straight" world. Beginning with a chance meeting in a public park the two develop a friendship, of sorts, wherein each feeds the other's needs for companionship and physical gratification. Over time, the completely reticent carpenter comes to realize that love takes precedence over sexual orientation while the artist learns that love is of a broader scope than his philosophical fantasy.



The movie is a well done graphical representaton of love unencumbered by gender. It suggests that the diversity of emotions and actions that define love is of greater expanse and power than many people acknowledge, or bother to identify.